Don't you want IT?

Everyone should get one of these. IT would even be a great gift for Christmas. I personally have had one almost 2 years now. IT's great, whenever I need a can or bottle opener, IT shows up just in time. IT has a weird sense of when IT's needed. The other day I used IT to open my mail. I'm sure it's easier to do it myself, but you should see how quick IT gets the shit open. One day if I get some free time, I'll teach IT to read, then IT can read me my mail too.

Then there was the time I needed the bush out front trimmed up. Before I even got a chance to tell IT to go do that, IT had already trimmed the bush that morning. It's like IT has a sick sense or something. As soon as it get's cold enough, I'm going to have IT carve me a nice ice sculpture out front for the holidays. It's fun to come up with new uses for IT.

Just like a week ago, I couldn't get the straw in my Capri Sun, and IT came over and put a perfect hole for my straw. You should have saw the smile on my face. I can't wait to use IT the next time I buy a cd. That plastic that is always a bitch to get off will be easy as shit now that I have IT.

I even let a friend take IT out for a couple of beers one night. I thought they had a goodtime but I was mistaken. Hey, I never told him to get a blowjob from IT. Who does that anyway? Borrow something from your friend and try to make IT blow you. He should have known better but now he doesn't even talk to me anymore. I guess you live and you learn...........